A Reactionary Review - Harry Potter

It's over.  At least for now... I have seen the second part of the seventh and supposedly final Harry Potter film.  I personally find it hard to believe that Warner Brothers or JK Rowling will never have the urge to make something more out of this multi-billion dollar franchise.

But anyways, I can't really do a proper review of the film because it doesn't exist in DVD form yet, so I can't include screenshots.  What I can do is finally point out all the giant gaping holes left behind by the filmmakers.  As the series is complete, I guess I shouldn't expect them to be filled at this point.

Unlike most of my posts, I expect someone to want to comment and answer my questions.  Please do.  If you can't comment here comment on my facebook page or send me an email.

A NSFW Movie Review - Irreversible

I watch movies so you don't have to.

It's not the most original slogan for a movie review website. In fact I've probably read it on every review site I've ever visited. But this discredited trope completely explains why I feel these goofy little movie reviews are necessary.

I'm going to do something different this time. Instead of some obscure, silly, pointless, artistic film from the 70's, I'm going to review one of the darkest, most gruesome independent films of the last ten years. Also different... I don't have many delusions about this review being funny.

I do this because for me the film is something of a paradox. I do not enjoy watching it, but I have so much admiration for it that I feel I must own it. I also do it because while I could never recommend this film to anyone but a serious movie aficionado, I think it's important for the layman to know what this film is all about.

A Sweet Movie Review - The Holy Mountain

Usually I like to beat around the bush a bit, but let's dive right in.

This movie makes no sense!

In the future, if I come across an incoherent piece of film, I'm gonna rate it based on, "This is crap, but does it at least make more sense than The Holy Mountain?" Talk about a lame streak of movies. First Sweet Movie, then Emmanuelle, now this? It says a lot when the best movie I've seen in the last month has been Caligula.

You don't want to know what he's gonna do with that fist.

So what to make of The Holy Mountain? I'm hoping I can do this without writing a novel, because there is a lot to talk about. More important than the words will be the pictures...

A Sweet Movie Review - Emmanuelle

In the time I've had a Netflix account, I've had a varying degree of emotions towards the movies I've chosen. I'm very happy I chose to see The Godfather. I was pleasantly surprised by Collateral. I was disappointed by Silence of the Lambs. I was mildly embarrassed for renting Havoc. I was bored to tears by Half Nelson (which I sent back half-watched.  I didn't even bother to rewind).

There have also been plenty of WTF moments, where I wonder why the hell I rented this movie, and why am I insisting on finishing it? Such was the case with my recent viewing of Sweet Movie, which you've already read about (unless you haven't). But for the first time, I actually feel ashamed with my choice of Netflix flick. I really wish I could have recognized at the beginning of this film that the feeling I was having was not just plain bewilderment... it was my brain warning me not to continue.

A Sweet Movie Review... of Sweet Movie

So I just finished watching a movie, and before I look it up at IMDB or Wikipedia to figure out what the fuck I actually just saw, I want to try to make some sense of it.

Looks promising, doesn't it?

It's called Sweet Movie, it was made in 1968 (released in 1974), and it's an art film. Anyone even loosely interested in film should have an idea what a trip this movie is just on that information alone. The only way I can make sense of the movie's story is to say it takes place on two separate planes of existence. In one, we follow an unfortunate young girl on the most unerotic sexual bender in history. In the other, we are in Russia on a boat filled with sugar as the insane captain collects children to molest and murder. At least that's what I think was supposed to be happening. I'm not sure if these events take place during the same time period or even on the same planet, and the stories never intersect.

I have this blog

The canned theme for this blog is called Awesome.inc obviously. I won't be posting here often, but I have some stuff I'd love to have a place to put, and my livejournal is kinda crusty. So here it will go.