I watch movies so you don't have to.
It's not the most original slogan for a movie review website. In fact I've probably read it on every review site I've ever visited. But this discredited trope completely explains why I feel these goofy little movie reviews are necessary.
I'm going to do something different this time. Instead of some obscure, silly, pointless, artistic film from the 70's, I'm going to review one of the darkest, most gruesome independent films of the last ten years. Also different... I don't have many delusions about this review being funny.
I do this because for me the film is something of a paradox. I do not enjoy watching it, but I have so much admiration for it that I feel I must own it. I also do it because while I could never recommend this film to anyone but a serious movie aficionado, I think it's important for the layman to know what this film is all about.
My relationship with Irreversible began in December 2009 when it was listed by a reviewer on Aint It Cool News at the top of his "100 Best Movies of the Decade". You may recall that I ran with my own idea from that list to review every movie of the decade I had seen. (Of course you recall that, I mention it every chance I get.) I suppose any movie could have wound up on top of his list and I wouldn't have taken much notice. Indeed much of the list was unremarkable, save for a few films that I really liked that appeared within. More important than Irreversible being number one was which movie was number 2.
If you talk to me about movies, at some point I'll probably mention Christopher Nolan's Memento. If you think you aren't familiar with some of Christopher Nolan's work by now, you're wrong. Unless you were born without eyes, odds are you're at least familiar with this:
Greatest scene ever?
Memento was Nolan's second feature film and arguably his best. The central character of the story has anterograde amnesia- as a result of trauma, he has no short term memory. The last clear memory he has is of his wife's murder, and he is driven to find the man responsible. The movie runs in reverse chronological order, putting the viewer in the same place as the protagonist. With each scene, we have a vague sense of where we are, but not how we got there or what is supposed to happen.
The movie is understandably dark, depressing, and ultimately hopeless. Aside from not knowing who he can trust, the protagonist has to constantly challenge his perception of reality. Without real memories, how does he know the information he has is accurate? How does he know the mystery he's solving hasn't been completely fabricated by selfish people who seek to take advantage of him? What good is revenge if he can't remember it?
I could obviously keep talking about Memento, but to sum it up, I view Memento as a movie that toes the line between fluffy, popular movies anyone can enjoy, and often impenetrable art films that cater to a select audience. If you watch Memento and really enjoy it, maybe you should push your boundaries into the more unconventional. If you only kinda like it or worse, stick with what you know.
So yeah, I really like Memento and would watch it any day of the week. I picked it as my favorite movie of the decade on my list. So if the reviewer in question and I can agree that Memento is really great, but he thinks Irreversible should be ranked higher, I had no choice but to check it out.
Normally I want to know as little as possible about a movie before watching it. But as my luck with French films has been spotty at best, I decided I should at least make sure that what I was about to put myself through was a real movie. I scanned some very general reviews, and most of them agreed on two points. It unfolds "Memento-style" meaning in reverse chronological order, and it's one of the most controversial movies ever made. We'll come to both points later.
And fair warning... I am going to spoil the hell out of this movie. I didn't really care to warn you about spoiling plotless drivel like Sweet Movie, but somebody reading this review might come across the sentence, "It's like Memento!" and decide they are brave enough to try and watch Irreversible. To those people, I doubt the movie will be the same if you know what's coming. So go see it first and come back if you wish to relive it.
I don't think most people would agree with me on this, but I think it's a shame that most modern movies begin without a credit sequence. The credits are supposed to be like an overture, an art piece unto itself that sets the tone visually and musically. I mean, does anyone really skip the first track on Tommy just because it has no words? Of course not. I think movies that skip the credits to get to the "action" are being lazy.
Irreversible starts before the credits, during the producer's ads with a seisure-enducing clip for Muse Production/Blacklist Film. I'm glad I didn't see this in IMAX 3-D.
Then we cut to some shitty CGI clouds over a sunset. There is an eerie low rumbling as the ad appears for Studio Canal. Then we fade to black as the credits start rolling by...
Wait a minute, those look like end credits! Did I put in the disc upside-down? So in one of those, "I wish I had thought of that (and was a director)," moments, the end credits open the movie and run backwards. They are in French, so I can't read them, and the only sound I can hear is that low, infrasonic rumble. Just as even I consider fast-forwarding, I notice the credits are slightly tilting...
The angle gets more and more extreme, until we reach the top and see the title, the credits are running sideways. There is a sudden, dramatic brass cue that goes, "BWAAAHHHH BWAAAHHH BWAAAHHH BWAAAHHH!!!" as the credits tweak out and fly off the screen. A brief shot into some guy's apartment rotates in and out of frame.
Then, just for good measure, we get an opening credit sequence too. Every name that just rolled by backwards is now played one at a time followed by a low timpani note. After the main cast, we see the title, which is shown four times at four different angles, which I read every time as "Irreversible... Irreversible... Irreversible... Irreversible..." My brain just won't stop doing that!
That is followed by every other person who worked on the film getting their own flashing credit and timpani note. So it runs like this: "BOMM... BOMM... BOMM... BOMM... BOMM... BOMM..." for something like three minutes. You know, I just gave a long speech about how filmmakers are lazy if they can't come up with an interesting title sequence. I really liked the ending-credits-first-bit, but they should have quit while they were ahead.
So now we enter the real world, in a crummy alley at midnight. The camera seems to roll up off the ground and start filming the brick walls in a drunken state. I think the way I previously described the camera work was thusly: Take 8 shots of bourbon, then stand up, place your forehead on the bar stool and spin around it eight times. Then pick up a camera and try to hold it straight while filming. You won't, and the cameraman here doesn't either.
Perhaps the strangest thing as we wander through midair watching nothing but brick walls, every time we pass close to a light bulb it buzzes loudly and has a yellow tint. Did the French buy all their light bulbs in 1927?
BZZZZZZZZ!!! -Half the script
Eventually, we enter the apartment we glimpsed earlier. On one end of a small bed sits a white, leathery, fat, and clearly naked man. Lucky for us his hands are strategically positioned to hide his penis. I'm still trying to figure out how to make that sentence funny.
Sitting on the bed with him is another guy, thankfully fully clothed. The fat guy apathetically says, "You know, time destroys everything." By the way, the camera has not been set down, and is combing over the two men as if it were searching for cancerous moles. They have a brief conversation about what happened to the fat man. He was apparently imprisoned for having sex with his daughter.
This shoe must be important, or else the director wouldn't be so focused on it.
The skinny guy remarks, "The Western Syndrome?" Remind me to look that up later so I can figure out what the hell that has to do with incest. He also says, "We are all... Mephisto?" Eh? They talk about getting drunk, but neither of them has any booze or money. A noise outside interests the skinny guy, and the fat man says it has something to do with them "fruitcakes" downstairs. He laughs as he says, "...in The Rectum..." We exit through a window as the two men depressingly laugh to one another about rectums.
The alley below is bathed in police car lights. We see "The Rectum" is a crummy hole-in-the-wall bar at the end of the alley. A bunch of people are shouting obscenities, particularly of the homophobic variety. Out of the door to The Rectum, two EMT's wheel a stretcher carrying the semiconscious body of Vincent Cassel. I've seen Cassel in three movies now (La Haine, Eastern Promises being the others), and all I can say is he's completely awesome.
And he's got a face you grow to love.
Cassel's right arm is in a sling, and standing at the door a large sinister black man is yelling at him, calling him a fag and saying he owes him money. He says he hopes the guys inside not only broke Vincent's arm, but "reamed his ass... Like Alex, I hope bled, I hope it hurt." Charming.
So Mr. Cassel is loaded into an ambulance and the camera focuses back on the bar door, where policemen escort out a droopy middle-aged man. They cuff his hands as more homophobic obscenities are thrown his way, including several men who hope he gets anally raped in prison. Why is everyone around here so upfront about hating the gays? It just seems like an odd thing to focus on during a police investigation.
The droopy guy is loaded into the back of a paddywagon and it drives off with that annoying movie foreign police siren. The camera starts tripping out again and after a few minutes of nothing, we slip inside the back of the paddywagon and see the droopy guy sitting silently surrounded by bewildered cops as it drives him to prison.
Then the camera leaves the wagon, wanders around the street passing a lot of loud buzzing street lamps. Then it catches up with Vincent Cassel's ambulance, and we duck inside for a brief visage of Cassel looking despondent. By the way, everything we have seen thus far since the end of the credits has been one long uncut shot. It's obviously not really uncut, but the edits have been very well disguised.
So the camera wonders back outside and starts swinging around in the darkness as the sirens fade away. A droning electronic crescendo fades onto the soundtrack... it's tough to describe, I'd call it like an auto-tuned engine revving then slowing down over and over. After a few seconds tumbling down the alley we go inside The Rectum, and the droning gets louder and a phony drum track can be heard. So I can now accurately describe the sound as shitty Euro-trash techno music.
The camera is shaking and twisting more and going completely out of focus. Aside from the occasional buzzing light bulb it's hard to tell what I am supposed to be looking at, but I hear sounds of chains dangling and men groani... oh... oh my... OH NO!!! I finally made out a clear picture, and it was a naked man masturbating at the camera. Other lovely images follow, such as M2M fellatio, bondage, and fisting, most of it unsimulated. If you don't recognize what those terms mean, for the love of god don't look them up.
This is the dirtiest shot I dare include on my website. Don't ask.
I must gather that The Rectum is not just any hole-in-the-wall bar, but a gay sex club. I was getting annoyed with the camera work, but actually... In this case I can't think of a more perfect way to film this scene. If I had a nightmare about waking up in a gay bondage club at 2AM this is an accurate portrayal of how disoriented I would feel as I stumbled to find my way out.
I know Vincent... I know...
Five minutes (I know because I spent most of that scene watching the clock on the DVD player) later, Vincent Cassel and the droopy guy enter the club. Remember, this movie is running backwards, and Cassel's arm hasn't been broken yet. I have a feeling some shit is about to go down, because it is Vincent Cassel, and he's acting pissed.
Through dialogue, we learn that Cassel's character is "Marcus" and the droopy guy is "Pierre". Marcus is combing the club and angrily asking people if they know "The Tenia". Pierre is trying to get Marcus to calm down, but Marcus is insisting on his right to revenge. Pierre is worried Marcus is going to get himself killed. He keeps asking about The Tenia, and he explains, "Like 'the tapeworm.'" Whoever "The Tenia" is, and if it does translate to "the tapeworm", if he chose that for a nickname, he's a total nutcase I wouldn't fuck with. If he didn't choose it, I just wouldn't go near him on principle.
Pierre tells Marcus he's nuts and leaves while Marcus keeps grabbing people and asking them if they know The Tenia. Marcus says he's going to kill him once he finds him, but nobody is giving him any help. He goes deeper into the club into some of the private rooms, and asks some of the men having sex if they know. One guy says, "The tapeworm's in my guts, man!"
<vomit>
Marcus finds another guy in a back room fisting himself on a trapeze. This guy seems to have real information but won't give it up unless Marcus fists him. Marcus starts kicking the guy and whacking him over the head, eventually getting him in a headlock and demanding to know where The Tenia is. The guy relents and starts leading him.
As he leads, the guy keeps mentioning that Marcus would have more fun fisting him than he would meeting The Tenia. Marcus just keeps hitting the guy in the face. Eventually they make it back to the front of the club and walk up to two rough looking dudes getting high while standing by the door. Jesus, Marcus... if you had just paid attention you might have thought to ask the guy standing right next to you as you walked in.
So Marcus confronts the men. He asks them both if they are The Tenia but neither acknowledges. Marcus starts getting in their faces and threatens to beat the truth out of them. Being high, the guy in the white shirt offers Marcus some drugs to snort, but Marcus slaps them away. The man in the black shirt gets belligerent and starts to leave. Marcus grabs at him, they start shouting at each other, then start shoving, and Marcus breaks a bottle over the guy's face.
They wrestle a bit and eventually the big man forces Marcus to the floor face down. As the crowd in the bar cheers, the big man puts a foot on Marcus's upper right arm and with both hands in one quick motion breaks the arm in half. In a word, ow.
Marcus is now helpless and screaming for help as the big man starts to undo his pants to teach Marcus a real lesson in pain. Just as I thought this movie might go too far, Pierre appears over the big man with a fire extinguisher. He gives him a swift blow to the noggin and knocks him on his back. A couple extra blows to the head seem to render him a less than a threat.
But Pierre isn't finished. He looks around at the bar crowd and hears somebody, probably Marcus, cheering him on to kill the big man. Let me say, if you were ever curious what it would look like to see a deranged lunatic kill a man via repeated crushing blows to the head with a fire extinguisher, Irreversible does not disappoint. I didn't count the blows for fear of being labeled a psychopath, but it was at least a dozen or two, and needless to say, there is no face visible by the time Pierre drops the extinguisher. Perhaps most gruesome is the guy was still moving and trying to speak through most of it as his jaw was cracked in half.
Did I take that too far? It's not my fault.
So the rest of the club patrons are looking on in stunned silence at this point. Of course, no one stopped the creepy techno music. The guy who was standing with the guy who just got his skull crushed in is completely bewildered and stands agape, possibly amused. They were both snorting something, so that might explain this face...
...or not.
We finally leave the club and are transported to a few minutes prior. Pierre is sad and walking along a street somewhere and brushing something off his face.
After that interlude, we cut further into the past where Marcus appears to be driving a white taxi with Pierre in the back. As he was at the beginning of the club scene, Pierre is trying to get Marcus to calm down, because Marcus seems to be filled with murderous rage. Marcus seems to be driving aimlessly, and they are yelling at each other about some "chink", probably the cab owner, who they just threw out moments before.
This movie has trouble with "subtlety".
Marcus stops at a pizza parlor to ask where "The Rectum" is. The patrons make fun of him for looking for a "fag joint". Marcus goes back to the cab and sees Pierre has gotten out and walked away, so he chases him in the car. They argue with each other for a moment, then Marcus gets out and asks some people where The Rectum is. They say it's nearby and point Marcus in the direction.
Meanwhile, Pierre is trying to plead with Marcus to go to the hospital to see Alex. Pierre tries to steal the cab by getting in the driver's seat, but Marcus stops him by angrily smashing the windshield and driver's window with a pipe. Marcus screams "We're going to the Rectum!" and walks away. Pierre is distraught and sits on the curb for a moment.
Marcus has rage issues. We all know what that's like.
The camera loses interest and moves further back in time. Now Marcus and Pierre are in the back of the cab while an Asian man drives. Marcus is saying, "To the Rectum!" But the driver doesn't know what he means. Marcus says, "You know, a club for men!" The driver insinuates that Marcus is a fag, and for some reason that starts an argument.
Pierre tries to be the voice of reason, but eventually the driver tries to throw them out. When he stops the car, Marcus gets out and runs to the other side to force the driver out by grabbing his head. He also sprays the driver's face with a bottle of "tear gas" the driver had on his front seat. Marcus jumps in the driver's seat with Pierre in the back and they speed off with the driver screaming at them. Pierre slams the back of the seat a few times as he yells at Marcus.
We cut out of the car and arrive in an alley. Marcus and Pierre are walking in front of two surly men, one of whom being the black dude we saw outside The Rectum yelling at Marcus for money. Pierre is trying to stop Marcus from "this revenge bullshit." As we already know, Marcus is not listening.
They finally come to a short Latina prostitute with blond hair. She calls herself Concha. The two surly dudes stand on either side to intimidate her while Marcus angrily asks her if she knows Guillermo Nunez. She is less than forth coming, so Marcus starts hitting her as Pierre continues with his whole, "Dude, stop going fucking nuts!" shtick.
After a minute or so, Concha is terrified enough to tell the truth. She is Guillermo Nunez, which she reveals by... ughh... lifting her skirt to show her penis. <facepalm> While I contemplate why I do these things to myself, Marcus realizes that this means Concha was at the attack and knows who hurt Alex.
Marcus threatens her with a sharp piece of metal he found on the ground. She eventually gives in and tells him it was "The Tenia." Marcus asks the black dude if he knows of The Tenia, and he says he's just some pimp. Marcus asks Concha where they can find him, and she says at The Rectum. I really hope this is the last scene with those two words involved.
A bunch of screaming is heard and the camera flips to show a bunch of prostitutes are after Marcus and Pierre for harassing Concha. They escape down the alley and get in the back of a taxi which speeds off.
In our next scene, Pierre is sitting in the back of a van with a middle-aged police investigator. Pierre seems to be in shock as the investigator asks him questions about the night leading up to the attack on Alex. He is asked if Alex did drugs at the party and if he and Marcus had done drugs. Pierre does not give an answer. There is definitely the pretense that the officer is trying to blame the victim, as if Alex or somehow Marcus and Pierre were responsible. The investigator asks when Alex left the party, and Pierre says about fifteen minutes before he and Marcus did. The investigator tells Pierre there may be more questions later but that he is free to go.
Pierre gets out of the van and finds Marcus standing by himself on the sidewalk spacing out. Someone else is talking to Marcus and saying what a horrible thing it was that Alex was attacked. He also is talking about how the police have no chance of ever truly bringing the person who did it to justice.
Marcus doesn't speak for a minute but then snaps to reality as the guy is talking about revenge. He asks the guy who he is, and he says this neighborhood is his territory. We see he is talking to the familiar large black dude. He introduces himself and his associate, and says in this neighborhood they are the best equipped to deal with delivering justice. They know the police found an ID at the scene, and offer their investigative services for a fee. Marcus takes a moment to think then the black dude suggests they get away from the cops.
The next scene fades in with some techno music in the background. Pierre and Marcus emerge from an apartment building onto the sidewalk. Pierre looks angry, and Marcus tells him to just go home. Pierre mentions Marcus is lucky to have Alex, and they argue a bit about how one of them or both of them ruined the party.
Police try to stop Marcus and Pierre from continuing down the sidewalk. They ask what's going on, and someone says, "A whore got raped." They try to pass by to catch a cab. A loud heartbeat pops onto the soundtrack and the camera does a quick zoom onto Marcus's face. He screams, "Alex!" as a stretcher is wheeled right past him. The woman on the stretcher is badly beaten and bloody. Marcus tries to grab onto her as the EMT's say she's in a coma.
The EMT's try to pull Marcus off as he screams her name. Pierre is standing agape and the police ask him if he knows the girl and Marcus. The heartbeat continues as we drift away.
When we return, a lovely young brunette in a silky white dress (this would be Alex) is walking out of an apartment building. She walks to the edge of a busy street corner and calls for a taxi. After a few seconds she considers crossing the street. Another woman at the corner tells her it would be safer for her to use the underpass.
So she walks around a railing and down a ramp that leads into this tunnel:
What person in their right mind would ever feel safe walking through that alone? I don't care how many cars are zooming past at high speed, I would never consider a dimly lit red tunnel a safer option. But Alex seems unperturbed.
When she is about halfway down the tunnel, a man and a woman appear from the other side. They are having something of an argument, and the man pushes the woman against the left wall. We see the woman is Concha, and the man is... Uh, holy shit!
That doesn't look like the guy Pierre killed with the fire extinguisher. In fact, it looks suspiciously like the guy standing next to him...
You remember this asshole, right?
So it looks like this is the real The Tenia. Well fuck. Just as Alex is about to pass them, The Tenia starts beating on Concha. In shock, Alex stops and braces herself against the wall. She cries out for help as The Tenia hits Concha a few more times.
Concha manages to escape, and instead of chasing her, The Tenia turns his attention on Alex. He corners her against the wall as she screams for help. He finally shuts her up by producing a knife. He calls her a "high-class bitch" as he rubs the blade across her cheek. He then asks her if it turns her on.
The Tenia tells her to lift her skirt as she pleads him to let her go. He starts feeling her up and kissing her neck. He then forces her to the ground on her stomach saying he's gonna take care of her.
I know I'll probably get a lot of shit for describing a graphic rape scene, but I think it's important. Hopefully later you will agree. The Tenia climbs on her back and forces her to lift her skirt. He asks her who buys her dresses, saying only a fag would let her go out dressed so well. She screams for help again and The Tenia covers her mouth with his hand, saying he'll strangle her if she doesn't shut up.
He undoes his pants as he ponders how... ughh... tight her ass is. <facepalm> I'm not trying to be funny. That was an actual facepalm. He tears her underwear off and forces her to spread her legs. As he says he's going to "fuck her asshole", in the background somebody walks into the tunnel. Whoever it is takes a few steps then stops as he notices what's happening. He stands there for a moment. We can't see his face, and after a few seconds of watching the rape, he calmly turns and walks back out the way he came.
This is all of this screenshot I can include.
The Tenia seems to be having trouble getting started. By Alex's screams it's easy to tell when he succeeds. He calls her "high-class swine" as he thrusts over and over. He pops open a small bottle of something and snorts it into both nostrils. He continues, asking her if she's bleeding. He tells her to call him "Daddy". I always hated that sexual connotation, and now it's finally dead to me.
After about five minutes, The Tenia seems satiated. He stops and rolls off of her, his penis visibly dangling from his pants. He lies on the floor of the tunnel for a few seconds as Alex struggles to breathe. She slowly tries to crawl away.
The Tenia stands up and asks her where she's trying to run. He stands over her, calling her a cunt, and finally kicks her in the face. Then he gives her a kick in the ribs as Alex rolls on the ground. He continues the high-class variety insults. He kicks her in the face again and blood spatters onto the floor. Then he climbs on top of her and starts punching her, saying he'll fix her face.
Alex is barely breathing or moving at this point, and The Tenia asks her if she wants more. He turns her over onto her stomach and starts smashing her face into the concrete. After several hard blows, he stands over Alex looking satisfied. He says, "Now I'm through with you... dead meat." He spits on her as the camera leaves the scene behind.
We arrive in a hallway somewhere as Marcus and Pierre seem to be on relatively good terms. Marcus seems high on life and is telling Pierre to stay out of his sex life. Pierre says if he did, Marcus would just bring him into it. Eh... what? A moment later, Marcus jokingly grabs at Pierre's crotch, wondering about his sexuality.
Uh... this has taken a weird turn.
A girl walks in asking for Marcus, and Marcus tries to hook her up with Pierre. The girl suggests both of them join her and her friend in the bathroom. Marcus is all for it, but Pierre is worried that Marcus is leaving Alex alone. Marcus takes a drink and snorts some drugs and tries to get down with the girls, but Pierre gives him shit and leaves. After a moment, Marcus leaves the room to find Pierre.
In a room filled mostly with dancing girls, Pierre seems to be trying to hide behind a curtain. Marcus comes in and tries to get Pierre into bed with a bunch of girls. Marcus wrestles Pierre onto the bed. For some reason Pierre isn't down with that. He gets up then tries to pull Marcus off the girls by reminding him that Alex is dancing alone. Marcus does not calm down.
Pierre manages to get Marcus out and into the kitchen to drink some water. He asks him what he took to get so high, and asks why he even bothered to bring Alex to the party if he was going to ignore her.
Pierre leaves Marcus to flirt with some other girls and finds Alex dancing with two chicks. He stands watching her longingly for a moment, then Marcus comes up behind him. Marcus gets all excited watching Alex with the two girls then goes over to introduce himself. They dance with him for a moment, but he acts like such as ass they leave.
Marcus complains to Alex about Pierre being a wet blanket. Alex goes over to Pierre and tries to get him to dance. Pierre says he just wants to watch because it's too painful to dance with her. It brings back too many memories. He then says she never used to dance like that, and it scares him that she's not acting like herself. Alex decides to get Pierre away from Marcus for a while and takes him up some stairs.
Alex meets up with some old friends of hers and then sits down to talk to a pregnant girl. Alex says today is a special day, and she's here with her man. The pregnant girl says, "Pierre?" Alex says it's actually Marcus. They look downstairs and see Marcus acting like an ass and they talk about how drunk he is. Marcus comes up the stairs and meets with Alex. After her friend leaves, Marcus sits with Alex and continues acting childish.
Alex gets annoyed and tries to get Marcus to stop being so ridiculous. Marcus keeps dancing like a fool and saying there's nothing wrong with him. Alex asks why he has to get high to have fun, but Marcus playfully tries to kiss her chest. Alex pushes him away and says she's leaving the party. Marcus tries to get her to stay but she gets up and walks away. Marcus offers to go home with her but she ignores him. He pleads with her but doesn't follow her.
Alex goes to a bedroom to get her purse. There are people having sex on the bed but she doesn't seem to mind. In the hallway she runs into Pierre and tells him she's leaving. Pierre begs her not to go because he hasn't seen her in months. He says he needs an excuse just to look in her eyes. She tells him not to hurt himself in this way. She kisses him on the cheek and leaves the apartment.
The camera flips over and takes us to the next scene. Alex, Pierre, and Marcus are in an elevator talking about some book Alex is reading. The book says the future is already written and the proof lies in premonitory dreams. Pierre says she's putting him to sleep, and they eventually get around to talking about sex. Pierre mentions falling asleep on top of Alex, and Marcus starts asking if it was good for him.
The best friendships are based off banging someone's ex.
As they enter a subway station, Pierre starts earnestly asking Alex if Marcus makes her cum, because apparently he never could. The discussion goes on for way longer than I think I would like it if my friend were banging my ex, but Pierre seems adamant to know. He claims to have gotten better in the intervening months. He also says his doctor had told him to stop trying to make Alex orgasm or he would have a heart attack.
When the train arrives, they get on board. Marcus proclaims to his fellow passengers, "Ladies and Gentlemen, a couple who has orgasms!" They sit down, and Pierre decides to tell a story of one time he and Alex were copulating, and Alex screamed because she fell and hit her head. Blood was everywhere.
Good story, Pierre.
Alex makes a profound point... It's not the women who can't cum, it's the men who can't fuck. Pierre says it's his fault for trying to fuck with his "banana diet". That may be the gayest thing in this movie, and the first twenty minutes were in a gay bondage club. Pierre continues to ask Alex what Marcus's secret is. Alex asks what's up between him and Sylvie, and Pierre deflects. Alex suggests that Pierre's problem is that he doesn't let himself go during sex, focusing too much on his partner's pleasure. Apparently Alex believes women can't cum if the man isn't feeling his own ecstasy.
You know, this scene was actually filmed with the camera not flipping out so much. Dare I say, this scene could exist in a normal movie and not look out of place. Anyway, the camera slowly flips over and leaves the train to go down the tunnel a bit. After a few seconds, we reach inside an apartment somewhere as the phone is ringing. A sleepy hand puts a pillow over the phone to quiet it. We see on the bed Alex is lying naked on top of Marcus. He is also naked.
See? Told you.
The answering machine gets the call as Marcus and Alex sit quietly in each others embrace. The caller is Pierre, saying his car broke down and he will meet them at the subway in half an hour. When the message ends, Marcus and Alex begin stirring. Alex describes her dream... she was in a red tunnel that broke in two. She says it's probably because of her period, and she mentions she's late.
Marcus acts a little shocked, but doesn't seem too perturbed. They roll over and make out for a minute. Marcus says he has to go buy liquor. He says he should be nice to Pierre because he stole his girl. Alex says she's not an object, and she decided to be with Marcus.
The next bit is kinda confusing. Marcus appears to be belligerent that Alex is making him spend time with her ex, and climbs on top of her saying she'll pay. He grabs her arms and pins them behind her head, then talks about the "revenge of the elephants.” Then he starts blowing raspberries on her neck as she laughs. Then he starts fake spitting in her face. They wrestle for a bit, and Marcus claims she kneed him in the balls. He writhes for a moment as she tries to comfort him, but then he reveals he was faking by spitting in her face again.
Anyway, they get out of bed and put on some music. They dance for a minute, then head back for the bed. Marcus starts kissing Alex's legs. They share a cigarette, say they love each other, then start making out. Alex asks, "What if I'm pregnant?" Marcus says, "That would be fun!" Alex gets up to take a shower.
Marcus says he needs money and takes some from Alex's purse. He puts on pants then goes into the bathroom where Alex is showering. They make out through the plastic curtain for a minute then Marcus leaves. Alex stays in the shower for a moment then wraps herself in a towel. Oh, I know I haven't put it in a screenshot, but Monica Bellucci has been totally naked this whole time. You need to decide whether it's worth sitting through the first hour and twenty minutes to get to this point.
Alex takes a pregnancy test out of the cabinet and we watch as she pees on the stick. She waits for it to change color, and after a minute or so she starts acting happy. So I guess she's pregnant. And only hours from being raped into a coma. Can this movie get any happier?
The camera slides away to the ceiling, and comes back down onto a gigantic classic poster for 2001: A Space Odyssey. Sitting underneath the poster is Alex in a flowery dress on the bed cradling her belly. A classical violin piece fades onto the soundtrack as we zoom onto her. The camera slides back up onto the poster, and heads outdoors to a nearly clear blue sky.
We arrive on Alex lying on a blanket reading her book in the park... upside-down of course. The camera cranes up above Alex as some children run by. When we are almost vertical, the camera moves away and starts focusing on the children playing in the water of a spiral sprinkler. The camera starts rotating rapidly, faster and faster on the sprinkler, eventually tilting and slowly flipping back towards the now white sky.
After a few minutes, the pleasant classical music fades out and a chopping white noise fades in. Almost imperceptibly the screen starts flashing, eventually quickly flashing between black and white as the noise gets louder. Very slowly behind the strobing a faint image of the sprinkler can be seen. The film quickly cuts out, eventually fading back in on a title card that reads, "LE TEMPS DETRUIT TOUT" - Time destroys everything. When that disappears, it's over.
So there you have it. Now I guess I should get to the real difficult part. It's time to delve deep into my psyche and figure out why I should feel obligated to not only watch films like this, but share them with my readers.
It's easy to say films like this are unnecessary, gratuitous, maybe even pretentious. How self-important can a great filmmaker be to not create a movie as a piece of entertainment, but instead force us to see the world through a dark prism? Can't Gaspar Noe, who clearly has the talent especially for editing, just make a movie so we can all enjoy it?
As I said before, sitting through Irreversible without wanting to skip ahead or turn it off is very difficult. My favorite movies are ones I can completely lose myself in and feel like the screen has dissolved, and I am part of the story. The characters are engaging. The script flows seamlessly with wit and charisma. The sounds are subtle yet powerful. The score blends the human reality with the fantasy.
What Irreversible displays instead is a cold view of what humanity can become in its worst elements. There is no attempt to mold the character's words around their emotions to make it sound like poetry. When Marcus becomes enraged, there is no cue for us to feel his anger, like a low bass note on the soundtrack or a steady zoom on his crossed eyebrows. There is just Marcus, racing through the scene, and the camera struggling to keep steady. Much like the rest of the world, we see the anger, but we can't fully understand.
That's part of the beauty of seeing the story in reverse. When you hear of a violent crime, all you see is the bloody aftermath. You see Pierre in handcuffs, and you know a man was beaten to death. You wonder what kind of psychopath could crush a man's skull with a fire extinguisher. Later, you learn the facts, about how his lost love was raped and beaten, and you sympathize.
Is this the face of a murdering psycopath?
Seeing it chronologically, you also put yourself in Pierre's place, but you can't feel the anguish. You have the benefit of logic, and you assume you could control your anger and not wind up in the same situation. At least I do. I understand the need for revenge, but I also understand that rage is blinding, and I can't assume I know all the facts.
This is where the story is clearly making its loudest point. Jumping head first into water is only smart if you know there are no rocks hidden beneath the surface. All Marcus and Pierre have is a name and a location. It's hardly enough evidence to plan revenge. Acting too quickly, they attack the wrong target, and perhaps let the real assailant get off scott free.
Thanks for muddling the investigation! Can't wait to rape again!
Can you think of any instance in real life where someone went ahead with their assumptions and wound up fucking everything up even worse? It's human nature to leap before we look.
Eight years and counting...
But it still leaves the question open... Why does the film have to be so brutally honest? Why should we have to watch a human skull filleted? Why should we need to see a woman raped and beaten? The answer is you don't. You can turn the movie off. You don't need to read my review. But what does that say about you?
How many times do you catch yourself saying, "Why can't the news report on something good that happened? Why do we only hear about the bad stuff or the crap we don't care about?" The News might be a bad example, because they are trying to sell what makes them the most money. The truth remains that most of us lead comfortable lives and we'd rather not deal with the awful parts of the world if we can just walk away. When things become difficult or painful to watch, we either allow ourselves to become desensitized, or we turn our back and ignore it.
In the credits, "Man who turned his back in the tunnel" is listed as "YOU".
In my first short review, I described it as a movie that film aficionados would watch so they could talk about how great it is. Upon first viewing, I saw it as shallow, crass, and overly stylish for no good reason. But the film stuck with me for months. Eventually, I had to watch it again. It was just as hard to stomach, but so glorious to know someone was forcing me outside of my movie viewing shell.
Aside from the horror, the movie is wonderfully crafted, very well acted, and so painfully simple. It's the kind of film that makes me angry that it has to exist and thankful for the same reason. I can't just ignore the reality so coldly depicted before me. I am part of that world. It's happening somewhere right now. It's sick and disgusting, but it won't just go away because I chose to not pay attention.
Probably the one thing the movie gets wrong is the phrase "Time Destroys Everything." By going backwards, we see time creating. Alex and Marcus are happy in the end, and a new child is conceived. The film seems to imply the only way time can lead to happiness is in reverse. I know that time is the greatest force hurtling us to our doom. But without time, there would be no progress. There would be no universe. There would be no Earth. There would be no humanity.
Time will destroy all things. But in the meantime, I get to see you smile. And that makes it OK for a while.
Anyway, I don't know if I've convinced you of anything- if Irreversible is worth watching, or worth existing, or that I have anything really profound to say about it. All I can say is I thought you should be aware, be mindful, consider everything even if it's painful. That's what I have learned. It's a hard lesson once you realize there is very little you can do to stop so much pain. Ignorance is simply never the answer.
Sorry if I sounded too preachy.
-review submitted by Dave
No comments:
Post a Comment