ABBA - The Visitors (1981)

ABBA. Oh boy... All I really know about this group besides "Dancing Queen" is that they are Swedish, and supposedly didn't speak a word of English, instead singing the lyrics phonetically. I also know that a lot of people love their music, to the point where an entire Broadway production was made using only ABBA material. This will be the first time I've tried to sit through more than 5 minutes of ABBA, and in all those other cases I was at a wedding or high school dance and had no choice.

The Visitors leads off with its title track, which begins as a cheesily synthesized video game song, but delves into a cheesily synthesized exercise video soundtrack. The lead singer's voice has a terrible sharp digital effect. The second song "Head Over Heels" I swear was used as level music in the first Sonic The Hedgehog game. I know I've used that comparison before, but it's just too apt. I swear if you take out the vocals and sample it down to 16-bits it's the same song.

There's something to ABBA's synthy weirdness that's striking. So much of the 80s was wasted in service to shitty synthesizer music, but what I've felt from so many other artists was a general loathing of the pop music scene. I remember feeling The The and Echo and the Bunnymen were so weary and maudlin even when they were producing a hopping tune. ABBA doesn't come off as the least bit weary of being a pop band.

Interesting... "One Of Us" sounds like an inside-out version of "The Sign" by Ace of Base. I doubt that's a coincidence. "Two For the Price Of One" switches things up by letting an unremarkable male singer take the lead. Other than that song ABBA sticks to a lovely female alto singer. I know there are two females in the group but from what I can tell only one of them ever sings lead. If that's wrong, I apologize, but if you're going to have two lead singers they should sound dissimilar enough that the listener like me can tell the difference.

I didn't hate The Visitors but it didn't offer much to really hate on. I don't think I've ever heard any of these songs in my life before today. The Visitors doesn't include "Dancing Queen" or that other ABBA song that I kinda like "Fernando". The Visitors is kinda one big nothing. If it weren't released by one of the biggest pop groups in history I doubt this album would be remembered. 2 stars.

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