Dave Answers Questions Submitted By Strangers To Quora Then Posts It As An Advice Column To His Blog - March 16, 2018 Edition

When a girl says she just likes you as a friend and isn't looking for a relationship, what does that mean? -Friendzoned

Dear Mr. Zoned,

It means she likes you as a friend and is not looking for a relationship. It’s not secret girl-code for anything. Like if a boy said he liked you as a friend and was not interested in a relationship- it means the same thing as that.

Is Herbalife nutrition good or bad? -Hungry and Seeking (Food) 

Dear Seeking,

First off Herbalife is a multi-level marketing company. The more nefarious name for this is “pyramid scheme.” That doesn’t automatically make them a bad company, but it’s typically a warning sign that their products are overpriced and their sales practices are dubious.

As for the content of their products I seriously doubt there’s anything special about what they sell. You can buy comparable protein shakes or herbal supplements in most stores. There’s no rigorous scientific study that would show Herbalife products to be superior to store brought products.

Beyond that Herbalife has been subject to investigations regarding high levels of lead in their products and possible links to liver disease. These cases are not conclusive, but in the US at least products sold by Herbalife tend to be classified as “dietary supplements.” These sorts of products are not subject to the same quality and safety standards as drugs, so their claims of healthy benefits are best viewed with skepticism.

Is it possible to have that black dark line on your stomach even if you are not pregnant? 

-A Concerned Citizen

Dear Concerned,

What black dark line? I’ve never seen a black dark line on a woman’s stomach even when she’s pregnant.

Why are white tigers going extinct? 

-BigCatLover316

Dear Cat,

White tigers are not members of a separate subspecies, they are a color variation of the Bengal tiger. Therefore they cannot go extinct in the sense that when all the white tigers die a species no longer exists. White tigers will however go extinct if the Bengal tiger goes extinct, which is possible- there are only about 2,500 alive in the world today, though conservation efforts are on-going.

How is Mike Pompeo qualified to be nominated as the Secretary of State? 

-HowIsThisReal19

Dear Real19,

It seems the only qualification required is for an appointee to get 50 votes in the Senate plus the Vice President. Nothing else matters at present.

My parents dont believe in mental illness/handicaps. But I am quite sure I have autism. My doctor tried talking to them about it, but they won't listen. What do I do?  

-EyeAccuseMyParents

Dear Parents,

You should be able to find a healthcare proxy or other sort of legal guardian to speak for you in this case. It’s your health at stake, and your parents are considering their ideology over your individual rights. You are not their property. Find someone else who will speak for you. It could be another family member or it could be a lawyer or maybe a social worker. Mental illnesses or handicaps do not bow to the personal whims of uninformed adults.

What is the explanation for this, I was at my piano performance but I lost consciousness at page 1 but when I came to, I was on page 5 with no memory of turning pages or playing pages 2-4, what in the world happened? 

-William from the Bronx

Dear William,

I doubt you lost consciousness. If you had you would not have continued playing or been able to turn the pages. You would have been slumped over the piano or fallen off the bench onto the floor. The most obvious solution is you simply have a gap in your memory. This is not that unusual. Nobody has a perfect memory, and the idea that you simply don’t remember playing those 3 pages is totally plausible. If you consider the fact that being at a performance you would have practiced the piece numerous times playing it one more time should be somewhat automatic and not really memorable anyway. Plus being in front of people could have caused a significant amount of anxiety which has simply overwhelmed your ability to process those memories effectively. There’s no reason to posit that you lost consciousness in those moments.

If somebody is telling you that you lost consciousness during those few minutes or whatever odds are they are pulling your leg. I suppose it’s remotely possible that you did lose consciousness briefly and were slumped over your piano and someone decided to mess with you by turning the pages and convincing you that you had actually played them while unconscious, but that’s so unlikely I wouldn’t seriously consider it.

What is the required amount of bee venom to kill the HIV virus? 

-EpiCurious

Dear Curious,

Bee venom is not an effective treatment for HIV.

Why should I tell my boyfriend who I’ve caught & forgiven cheating multiple times about my cheating? My incidents are reactive to his and he’s asking me to come clean but I don't trust him not to hold it against me. He has no proof, what should I do?

-ItsNotHimOrMe

Dear ItsNotHimOrMe,

Holy shit, break up already. He cheats on you, you cheat on him. Clearly neither of you value the sanctity of a relationship. He demands you come clean in spite of his transgressions. You don’t want him to hold your cheating against you even though you definitely hold his against him. Stop fucking with each other and end it.

Thanks for reading! If you have a question you'd like me to answer submit it to Quora! Maybe someday I'll randomly come across it and answer it! If I find the topic interesting and my answer poignant enough I might even share my answer in one of these stupid columns!