Uh-oh... 80s music. It's been a while since I've had an official 80s music album. The last was Architecture and Morality. I've listened to plenty of albums from the 80s since then, but few would call Metallica 80s music. The Jam and The Pretenders are more alternative or blues rock, at least on the albums I heard. Janet Jackson sure is cheesy as hell, but I wouldn't fit her in the 80s music genre any more than I would N.W.A. So I think I'm due for some 80s-music level of hurtin'.
Oh yes... the drum machine starts in and is so washed in reverb it sounds like a 5-year-old pounding on Tupperwear. In the place of synthesizers the band plays on guitars that are distorted into oblivion. Most of the background noise in each song sounds like someone saying, "ZZZZZZHHHHHHH ZZZZZZHHHHHHH ZZZZZZHHHHHHH ZZZZZZHHHHHHH," through a kazoo. Whatever chords do come through all that shrilly noise are lame power-chord progressions. The vocalist is singing like he barely cares about life. Calling his style unremarkable is being generous. It sounds like he's using one of those toy echo microphones you can buy at a dollar store and give to babies. On the album's later tracks the band revolutionizes noise rock by making use of squealing feedback. You know, that piercing noise made when you get a microphone too close to a speaker, which most bands would consider not only detrimental to their recording, but dangerous for their listener's ears. Not The Jesus and Mary Chain! Oh no, leave that shit on so we sound edgy and different or something!
So basically everything is wrong about Pyschocandy, except perhaps for the length. Being less than 40 minutes certainly helps this feckless tripe pass into oblivion where it belongs. So long for now, shitty 80s music! 1 star.
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