Orbital - Snivilisation (1994)

I'm loathe to review this album partly for reasons I'll get into later. For now, knowing nothing about what Orbital is I will say a band or artist who names an album something like Snivilisation attempting to be clever usually winds up making music that sounds like crap. Just a guess.

The opening track "Forever" starts out featuring samples from an old-timey propaganda speaker chopped up and layered over each other in various loops. So I wasn't wrong about it sounding like crap. The rest of the song's 8-minute runtime is wasted on a two-chord instrumental that reminds me of what people in 80s movies thought futuristic or alien music would sound like. The song fades out with a weird popping noise- it sounds like someone simmering a pan of caramel sauce. Since I'm listening on earbuds it pulsates on my eardrums and makes me feel a bit queasy. This leads into the next track "I Wish I Had Duck Feet" which is an ode to odd-looking people being exploited by carny trash. Thankfully the song is only 4 minutes long.

If this album is another electronic dance music album (note from future me: it is) I'm gonna be beyond pissed. For one thing I just reviewed one of these last week or so, and I really can't see the point in cluttering up a list of greatest albums with this disposable crap. Second these albums are always ridiculously long. This one clocks in at 75 minutes. Several of the songs are 8 minutes in length or more. It really just goes on and on looping the same beat, the same synth riff, the same layering patterns... For music that's supposed to make me want to dance it is SO FUCKING LIFELESS.

Time goes by really slowly when I listen to an album like this. The short repeating loops force my internal time-keeping to start counting the seconds as they go by. It's sorta like how if you're sitting in a waiting room for the doctor and can hear the clock ticking away the seconds and you start counting them in your brain because the doctor's taking way too long to show himself. Or how if you're on a long drive you know will take 10 hours, but then you notice the modern highways have signs for every tenth of a mile, and then you start seeing those pass and can't help but notice each one and realize, "FUCK I STILL HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED MILES TO GO! NOW SIX HUNDRED NINETYNINE AND NINE TENTHS! NOW EIGHT TENTHS! NOW SEVEN TENTHS! FUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!"

"Kein Trink Wasser" is sorta interesting. It starts out as an up-tempo piano piece that is a bit repetitive but kinda nice given that the electronica effects have been left off. Then the piano cuts out and we go into a lengthy section of heavy-bass synth weirdness. The piano eventually comes back and adds a relatively pleasing layer to what otherwise would be a boring sci-fi backing track. I do think the track could use some trimming, because it's 9-minute runtime is overstuffed with repeated passages. But it's certainly my favorite track so far and has brightened my mood a tiny bit.

The song immediately following quickly becomes my second favorite track only by virtue of being about 75 seconds long. Other than that it's a total piece of junk. The next track is over 15 minutes long and as expected repeats the same three or four passages the entire time, including an closing stanza that asks, "What does God say? What does God say? What does God say? What does God say? What does God say? What does God say?" I might have miss counted, I'm sure it was more than that.

I can't recap the closing song because it's 12 minutes long and I'm beyond words at this point. I wasn't expecting Snivilization to be an electronica ablum. Honestly I was thinking this would be rap or punk. I knew it would be crap but I was expecting a different variety. 1 star. Now if you'll excuse me I so badly need to let the Led out.