I knew what this was going to be before I turned it on, but I didn't expect it to be this bad. The album leads off with "Soft As Snow [But Warm Inside]" which is about as close as I've ever heard 80s music come to not actually being music at all. I think if you gave a trio of lemurs the same instruments as My Bloody Valentine uses on this recording they could probably make a better song than this crap.
I just don't get how this is possible without everyone involved being on assloads of ecstacy. Was that a thing in the late 80s? Whatever the drug of choice was it had to have taken a lot for the band to say, "You know what will sound awesome? If we bury our microphones in melted marshmallows and played our guitars with steel wool. Also if we played like a middle-school garage band." And then for their producers to say, "Holy shit. It sounds like you just took a hot shit on the master tapes. Let's print that!"
Everything that I said about Psychocandy applies here as well. The album sounds like shit and the band doesn't strike me as particularly talented. The vocals are so unenergetic and mixed so poorly I have no idea what the band might have to say.
So why was this album made? And why did I have to listen to it before I die? I don't know. At least I only wasted 37 minutes of my life. 1 star.
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