Prince - Sign O' The Times (1987)

George Michael - Faith (1987)

I'm calling this the "George Michael Sniffs His Sweaty Armpit" album, because that's all I can think about when I see this cover. And yes, his armpit does have to be sweaty. That's a leather jacket, he has to be sweating under it. What were they going for in this photoshoot? I'm gonna have trouble listening to this album without the smell of B.O. on my mind. Since I already hated the first George Michael album I listened to that's not a good way to start.

Morrissey - You Are The Quarry (2004)

I can't get over how much the guy on the cover looks like Daniel Day Lewis and James Van Der Beek.

Malcolm McLaren - Duck Rock (1983)

XTC - Skylarking (1986)

It's the 80s! Let's do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan!

My Bloody Valentine - Isn't Anything (1988)

The Cure - Disintegration (1989)

Adam And The Ants - Kings Of The Wild Frontier (1980)

This is not promising. An album that looks like that and was released in 1980? Sigh. Without addressing the kind of music I'm sure to hear going forward, what the hell is up with this album cover? It looks like a still from a music video shown on a tube TV, paused by a cheap VCR, and taken on a Polaroid. They probably could have achieved the same effect by snapping a live picture of Adam (I'm guessing it's Adam) with Vaseline smeared on the camera lens.

Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) (1983)

Argh! Parentheses! This time in the album title! And more 80s music!

Dinosaur Jr. - Bug (1988)

We all know how much I hate 80s music so let us pray together that Dinosaur Jr. is not a stereotypical 80s band.

Tears For Fears - Songs From The Big Chair (1985)

More 80s music. Luckily I know a bit about Tears For Fears, and just glancing at the track listing gets the chorus for "Shout" terminally stuck in my head. I know the chorus mostly from those infomercials that sold collections of 80s music on CD back in the day. I don't know if I've ever heard the whole song, but the chorus could just loop for ever and probably still be acceptable as an 80s song.

The Jesus and Mary Chain - Psychocandy (1985)

N.W.A - Straight Outta Compton (1988)

I am now about to witness the strength of street knowledge, brought to me by some guy who thought "Ice Cube" was a badass name and lots of cheesy dated drum tracks. Nope, can't fuck with that! The knowledge he imparts has something to do with how he's a badass and some people are pussie niggas and some women are bitches. And damn that shit is DOPE! I am impressed with Ice Cube's ability to rhyme "product" with "narcotics." I already feel like I've been listening for an hour, but really it's been 3 minutes, and there's still 57 to go.

Kraftwerk - Trans Europe Express (1977)

I can't see that artist's name and not think about "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk". Please click that link, it will make you happy. If it doesn't... I will have never lost more faith in humanity. No amount of Fatboy Slim music could ever bring me as low and you hating on the Land of Chocolate could.

The Jam - Sound Affects (1980)

Pretenders - Pretenders (1980)

Paul Simon - Hearts And Bones (1983)

You should never judge an album by its cover. Still, Hearts And Bones has one of the worst covers I've ever seen. It looks like a VHS still image from a snuff film that's sat in a puddle for ten years. And what the hell is that guy wearing?

The Cure - Seventeen Seconds (1980)

Terence Trent D'arby - Introducing The Hardline According to Terence Trent D'arby (1987)

Roxy Music - Roxy Music (1972)

I think I've burned myself out over this project. My recent reviews have been much longer than my early reviews and I find myself not wanting to listen to new music. It's become a chore to come up with paragraphs to write about music I don't really find appealing. It's been a while since I've heard something on the list I hadn't heard before and really wanted to hear again.