Destiny's Child - Survivor (2001)

Destiny's Child is the one with Beyonce Knowles, right? I think that's right.

I can't be the only one to find her insufferable. And no, I don't have a good reason. Jeez, I knew you were going to ask that. Do I need to justify every opinion? I know what you're gonna say next... "No, not every opinion, but justifying ONE would be nice."

OK, so saying she's insufferable was technically a lie on my part. I don't think very much about her at all, in fact. She's got her thing that she obviously does quite well and I admire that. What I do find insufferable is how The Internet seems to love everything this woman touches. I hate the whole "Queen B" thing. And I hate the whole "I'm dropping my last name because I'm the one and only," thing, which may be something I made up, but she still did it.

I also hated that thing she did at the Superbowl where she had her former mates from Destiny's Child show up for a quick medley and then dismissed them so she could get back to "her" show. She even had them sing backup for a song off one of her solo albums. That took some serious balls.

That said, I do love the pictures...

...which of course she pissed and moaned about, clearly finding no humor in herself. I get that the photos are unflattering and people are laughing, but since those same people were also talking about how awesome they thought the show was, maybe you should let them have their fun maybe? Yes?

Cripes, I seem to have gone on a rant without even turning the damn album on. That certainly never happens (another lie, I do it all the time).

Was "Independent Women Part 1" part of the Charlie's Angels soundtrack? They mention Charlie's Angels quite a bit.

I don't want to repeat everything I've ever said about hip-hop albums again, but this album is giving me no choice. The synths! The loops! The samples! The self name-checking! Argh!

Sample lyric: "I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this. Oh, my body's so bootylicious." Repeat ad naseum. A human being wrote that and convinced three women to sing it for an album. Think about that.

What is "Nasty Girl" supposed to be? It sounds like they're shaming some girl for dressing different. Even after reading the wiki page on the song I'm not really sure. I'm probably reading too much into that, but I thought Beyonce in particular is into women's empowerment. Saying some girl is dressing like a slut and needs to shape up isn't flattering to that ideal. Again, maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Whoa... whoa... "Sexy Daddy" actually featured a key change! It totally blew my mind. My ears literally spasmed when it happened it was so unexpected.

Credit where due... "Emotion" is a lovely acoustic guitar R&B song. I probably would have done it without the overdubbed and overproduced harmonies, and I would have preferred a softer performance by Beyonce, but it's not my album.

The last song on the album appears to be each member of the group writing love letters to each other. This seems funny in retrospect because if I'm not mistaken these people really don't like each other all that much.

OK... I don't know why but I'm arguing with myself over giving this album 1 or 2 stars. I did complain a lot but didn't really hate it. I even had a good thing to say about one of the songs. Maybe I'm just tired of shitting on albums a lot of people clearly love. On the other hand I'm certainly tired of complaining about the same things over and over. I guess that trumps all. 1 star.